Craptacular!

[I missed class on Saturday.  But I know that America -- and some readers in Russia of all places -- demand to know what's going on with this creative process.  This week brings an exciting guest writer in the form of the Niagran Nightmare himself, Buffalo's own Mark Peters.]

Thanks to John for letting me fill in as group historian, by which I mean he’s holding my dog hostage until I do it. Damn you, John! Damn you straight to hell! You’re a terrible man!

Anyhoo, Saturday was a fairly hilarious class. Our assignment to write the Worst Sketch Ever may have resulted in the best bunch of sketches of the whole term, which I guess was the whole point. With inhibitions kicked, everyone’s id or whatever went batshit bonkers. We also brought in revisions and other new sketches. Some of the highlights: 

Shane’s new sketch involved sperm, some historical figures, and genocide (always a good combo). I seriously hope this sketch is in our show, because it was hilarious. 

Detroit Angie (also known as The Spicy Catwoman of Detroit) wrote a sketch about adorable kittens.

Laura’s sketch was timely, since it was about Jesus on this most holy Easter weekend. She also wrote about a catastrophically hilarious date, in which I learned some ribcage-related moves I’m planning to break out on that pretty lady at the bus station. 

Ben brought in a whopping four sketches, which were all very good. That’s a lot of quality and quantity, so I think I might have to kill him out of jealousy. I’ll make it look like an accident. Maybe something with poison or an elevator shaft. Or cinder blocks.

Man, no one reads this, right? 

My sketches dealt with aliens, vampires, zombies, and ejaculations. Not that kind, gutter-brain! More like ew, ow, and doh.

Brian had a crazy-ass sketch about baseball that was 9000 times more entertaining than baseball. 

Dan had a Titanic-related sketch that I particularly enjoyed since I got to perform in it. Great concept. Man, with no John, the acting opportunities in class opened up. Note to self: kill John too. [Let me get my life insurance in place first. -- John]

Next week is one last chance to bring in sketches that could be considered for our show, and we’re also going to start picking sketches. You know this process is going to be intense because it will involve INDEX CARDS. That’s when shit gets real.

OK, I guess I'm done because my dog just bit John in the Charlie Browns and escaped. Good boy! Ew, except for the ball breath.

[Read more of Mark's stuff at http://wordlust.blogspot.com/ ]